Tamara Mahmoud
Mrs. Wilson
English IV B
8 May 2013
Title
In Jonathan
Swift’s A Modern Proposal, the essay
is written in the point of view if an economist. The narrator’s idea of
improving the economy of Ireland is emphasized by Swift’s use of juvenalian
satire and irony which is presented in a way to form a harsh reality that the
poor people of Ireland are living in.
In the very
beginning of the essay, Swift shows a lot of emotion when it comes to the
mothers and children of Ireland. “It is a melancholy object to those who walk
through this great town or travel in this country, when they see the streets,
the roads, and cabin doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by
three, four, or six children, all in rags…” (Swift 584). He feels sad for the
mothers and children and the conditions that they live in. The families are living
in a very harsh reality, especially the children of the poor. But eventually he
goes on to form a “modest” proposal that eating children would help form a
better economy. The children have to endure being eaten by the wealthy people
and the mothers have to sell their children for a profit so they can live. The
title of the essay is an understatement considering the fact that he is stating
that eating children is the best idea for improving the economy. Eating
children is not modest; it is barbaric.
Throughout
the essay he uses a lot of statistics that go along with the logical appeal.
Using statistics allows the reader to believe what is being read. Does the
reader actually know if the numbers to certain calculations are real? It
doesn’t matter because once the number is read it makes the passage seem
believable. “I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the
hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be
reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more
than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine […] That the remaining hundred
thousand may at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and
fortune through the kingdom” (Winston 584). After doing many “calculations” he
came up with the idea that the hundred thousand children that are left are
better off being sold to the wealthy for a dinner celebration. “I shall now
therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to
the least objection. I have been assured by a very knowing American of my
acquaintance in London, that at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and
wholesome food…”(584) When he says that he wants to “humbly” propose an idea,
it goes along with the idea of the “modest” proposal. Humble is also an
understatement to what he is intending. Eating children is not a humble act.
He uses
ethos in a way to make his proposal even more believable that devouring
children is going to help the economy. He is proposing everything according to
the fact that the narrator is an economist. “There is likewise another great
advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those voluntary abortions, and
that horrid practice of women murdering their bastard children, alas! too frequent
among us! sacrificing the poor innocent babes I doubt more to avoid the expense
than the shame, which would move tears to pity in the most savage and inhuman
breast”(584) . He starts off by mentioning his scheme, but the irony of the
scheme contributes a lot to his satirical element in the piece. He claims that
his scheme would reduce abortions and prevent women from murdering their
children. But throughout the whole piece, the murdering of children to be fed
to the wealthy people of Ireland is what is being proposed. He mentions that it
is a “shameful” act to abort and murder babies, but yet that is what society is
doing. His use of the word innocent allows the reader to know that the author
knows that the children are innocent and shouldn’t be killed.
From the
eyes of the economist, what is being proposed would help improve the economy
and the lives of the people living in Ireland. He states that it is better for
poor parents to sell their children. He claims that children will become a
heavy burden and it is better for them to improve their lives if they just sell
their child to a wealthy person for their Sunday dinner. Whereas Jonathan Swift
is using harsh satire to show the bad conditions that the people are living in.
INTRO- use more background information about Ireland and the Neoclassical period.
ReplyDeletealso change "if" to "of"
stronger thesis statement, too broad
first body paragraph- Need a topic sentence. explain why he uses the poor conditions of Ireland and the mothers. (pathos) Also try to stay consistent throughout paragraph.
second body paragraph- could make a more clear topic sentence
"Using statistics allows the reader to believe what is being read" - rephrase/reword.
"Does the reader actually know if the numbers to certain calculations are real?"-usually don't ask questions in analyses
third body paragraph-use "Swift" instead of "he" in the first sentence
"He is proposing everything according to the fact that the narrator is an economist." -REWORD
good information, but it is explaining more of a pathos or emotional appeal rather than an ethos- which is what establishes credibility and authority.
conclusion- make a stronger argument, restate thesis, what exactly is Swift trying to do?
Intro:
ReplyDelete-write economic planner instead of "economist"
-put in background of the Neoclassical period, like about how satire is really popular and about the Haves and Have Nots
-in your thesis, instead of saying "presented in a way to form a harsh reality that the poor people of Ireland are living in" you should say something more like how the juvenalian satire and irony shows the harsh lifestyle of the poor people in Ireland
Body Paragraph 1:
-I know you are talking about how the title is ironic but say it is ironic
-don't switch from talking about the quote and the children on the street to the title of the poem or if you do, tie them together a little bit more
-since you are using that quote, you should talk more about how that quote relates to the satire because it is making the reader feel sympathetic and persuading the reader to help make a change
Body Paragraph 2:
-"that at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food…”(584) make sure you correctly site that quote
-too broad of a topic sentence, talk about what logical appeal does to the piece and satire
Body Paragraph 3:
-correctly site your quote
-talk about somewhere how ethos establishes authority
-your quote is more of an emotional appeal because of the wording
I feel like you are mainly talking about how ethos, logos, and pathos creates the satire and irony so i think you should include something about ethos, logos, and pathos in your thesis
Introduction:
ReplyDelete-Your topic sentence is your entire intro paragraph, you can also try improving you topic sentence by making the two sentences to one for example you can say:"In Jonathan Swift’s A Modern Proposal, Swift emphasizes his ideas to improve the economy by using Juvenalian satire and irony which is presented to reveal the harsh reality that poor people in Ireland live.
Body Paragraphs:
-Your paragraphs are missing topic sentences, although they have good points as well as evidence
-Pay close attention to how you say things make sure that when you read things out loud it make sense
-Go through and try to improve your work choice, to better the vocabulary used
-Make are your words flow with each other for example, try some more transitional sentences to go from one paragraph to the next. Don't just abruptly start your next point without some sort of transition.
Conclusion:
-Try restating some of your points made in the body paragraphs
-give the reader closure to your paper not just a recap